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Sunday, 24 October 2010

be brave, say no!

Be truthful, what have you said yes to today when you really meant to say no? Jot them down. Now write down all the fake yes’s you’ve said throughout the week. How many have you listed and how has it left you feeling? Resentful of the people you’ve said yes to and annoyed at yourself for being weak?

If you're feeling undervalued or trying to find time to fit in the things you love doing, perhaps it's time you asked yourself: ‘what am I nodding at when I should be shaking at’? The fact is most of us say yes because we see the action of doing it as a giving role. Generally women like to people please, not rock the boat and be classed as a person that is seen contributing and helping out. But the truth is, when we agree to do things we really don’t want to do, we wind up paying a higher price: increased stress, less energy and lower self esteem. On the other hand, when we say yes and mean it, we give energy, motivation and creativity. One book I discovered earlier this year is Beth Wareham's The Power Of No (published by Hay House) who details her yes years as a catalogue of unflattering hairdos, back-fat exposing blouses, treacherous work situations and bad relationships. That’s until she discovered that all-important, two-letter word: NO.

Wareham is a vice president and director of a lifestyle publishing company in New York and writes in a witty and upbeat manner that makes for easy breezy reading. Explaining how saying no changed her job description from 'mopping the pee off the floor' to 'making decisions' she cheerleads us into taking control of our lives simply by saying no, creating the time and space to live the life you want.  As Wareham says, ‘you are who you no’.

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